Upcoming: How I Would Kill My Boss...

Poison… pistol… piano wire? I think all of us, at one time or another, have worked for a boss we would like to sneak up behind in a darkened parking garage and… well, you know.

Most bosses are like that, people who can drive you to thoughts of their untimely demise. I’m lucky in that I have two great ones now, but I’ve been there. Years ago, I worked at a company in Chicago where every day I felt like I was this close to… you know. And maybe if I would have had a creative way to express that anger, I would have felt better… at least until the next time he did something stupid and annoying, like open his mouth or breathe.

So you work for a complete and utter idiot. You work for some middle management suck monkey. Your supervisor is like Pol Pot but with coffee breath and less vision than Helen Keller.

And you know you’ve thought about it while sitting in the car or on the bus. Knife… club… severed brake lines…

But how would you really do it?

Change the names to protect the innocent (meaning you, in this country you’re still presumed innocent until convicted) but what would you wear? Where would you do it? How would you get away with it?

What is your fantasy about offing your boss? (or ex-boss for that matter)

Tell me.

Write it up in a few hundred words and post it here or e-mail it to me: killingmyboss (at) gmail.com

And if we get fifty or so good ones, we’ll put them in a book titled “How I Would Kill My Boss”, which you can always anonymously have sent to your boss for the holidays. (Imagine the delight on his face when he opens that present!)

And with your submission, tell us under what name you want to be credited. (You might want a pseudonym for this one)

So remember, this is an exercise in fiction, for entertainment purposes only.

And if you submit a story, you’re giving us permission to reprint it.

So go ahead, pull the trigger… How would you kill your boss?